true makings of me: love women

I want to talk about a quote in one of my assigned readings for a class I took in the fall of 2009. A quote, that for me, solidified the makings of a feminist. It says, 

"one is not born a woman, but becomes one"

This was written by Simone de Beauvoir a social theorist, among many other things, and in my opinion is the epitome of socialization of little girls and boys. I have this long-standing belief that girls and boys are socialized in many ways, but none greater than the influence of the toys marketed and purchased for them. The short version of a long analysis, popular girl toys promote domesticity and a sense of responsibility while popular boy toys promote imagination and rambunctiousness. Whether these traits are "good" or "bad" is for another discussion, today's topic is this quote.

Upon first read, I reflect on the glitz and glamour that some "women" strive for, attain, and flaunt as a defining difference between their womanhood and masculinity. Then I think about all the women whose glitz and glamour come in a form very different than the pumps and purses that often characterize a woman. We've all seen the attack on advertisements, beauty products, and men for constantly purporting the stereotype of a woman, or lady, or female. My aim is to call attention to ourselves and how we as individuals allow our ideas, or the ideas of others to define what or who we are in our own eyes. I can remember fondly receiving comments from my mom and other moms about what was and wasn't lady like and what would and would not prepare us for romantic objectification in our older ages. Reading this quote, I am reminded of something I always say when presented with the opinion that I don't dress or look my age; I am 22, this is how i dress, therefore, this is how a 22 year old dresses. This simple application of the commutative property ::who says we don't use math!:: reminds me that I owe it to my age group to help expand the stereotypes placed upon us. The same is true of us as women. Women are not made, instead, we are born girls and by virtue of being born girls, become women. This quote highlights the interruption of this transition and emphasizes the socialization of women and the work that is assumed when "making one."

I usually hold firm contempt against the word female being thrown around in reference to women, generally because it is evidence of a science that has historically objectified and typified women in a way that is unflattering and at times useless. I prefer being called a woman, signifying a purposeful creation and a part of the idea of man, instead of an afterthought of him. The term woman carries significance that female cannot begin to describe. Woman describes the discrimination, discretion, disenfranchisement, and growth of a person. All women, everywhere, share an experience of socialization, of molding, in a similar way and it is this shared experience that denotes the birth or rebirth of a woman and not the makings of one. Because of this, I asked myself not to categorize or stereotype any woman and to instead believe that however she decides to embrace her womanhood, no matter how unfamiliar to me, is the way in which it was meant for her to experience it. Neither science nor society alone reflect womanhood, it is the active action of both occurring with and without intention. Women are born, out of women and out of experience