from that, came this. love

I told myself I wasn't going to write anymore posts until I got out of this funk. BUT today, I remembered, that the Word says that God gives life to the dead and calls those things that be not as though they were. So it seems to me, since I'm made in His image, why would I do anything different?

There has been a lot on my mind lately, all seeming to end up in the same place. I had an interview ::more like a meeting, but for the sake of argument and my job-hunting ego, we'll run with it:: yesterday and the woman interviewing me asked me what my end path was, what direction my education had been and is currently headed toward. I paused, and tried my best to muster out the most vague, but not too vague description or similarity to something that could pass for a "good answer." What I gave her,and the answer I had formulated in my head were the same...nothing. I don't think the reason is necessarily that I don't know, I think its more that I didn't want to disappoint her with my answer because I wanted a job. I then was left looking like I hadn't prepared well for the interview/meeting which is never ever a good look. After I realized what I had done, and also that resume read the way my thoughts and heart do, I broke it down for her. I don't want to work in an office and I don't want a run of the mill, yes I have a college education, but I didn't really need it for this position, J-O-B.

I want a career that reflects my opinions, ideas, and heart. I want a position that reflects my anger and contempt for the ignorance that is passed down and through families, neighborhoods, class divisions, and racial categorizations. I want the pleasure of helping people get to where they are trying to go in the most effective and beneficial way possible. I want to take the idea of situated knowledges and strong objectivity further than the classroom and theoretical feminist dialogue. My senior year in high school, I came across a quote, one that continues to take on new meaning to me. It says,"when you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you'll command the attention of the world." This was spoken by George Washington Carver and to me speaks to engineering life and the practice of it. It tells me, I have the ability to do what you do in my own way. It tells me I can take ownership of a thing, whether its been done never before or one million and one, as long as I complete it in a way that is signature of myself and that no two things, people, or actions are the same nor do they present the same end. Although I do not quite yet have a word for where I want to be and what I want to do, I know I can expect great things.