tmd: words of encouragement

Dandelions are especially well-adapted to a modern world of "disturbed habitats," such as lawns and sunny, open places.They now grow virtually worldwide. Dandelions spread further, are more difficult to exterminate, and grow under more under adverse circumstances than most competitors.Most gardeners detest them, but the more you try to weed them up, the faster they grow. 

Think of them when faced with discouragement; these plants do what God made to do, which is grow. In the face of discouragement and adversity, they grow and multiply. Take a cue from the things around you. Be the instrument God created you to be.

true makings of me: love women

I want to talk about a quote in one of my assigned readings for a class I took in the fall of 2009. A quote, that for me, solidified the makings of a feminist. It says, 

"one is not born a woman, but becomes one"

This was written by Simone de Beauvoir a social theorist, among many other things, and in my opinion is the epitome of socialization of little girls and boys. I have this long-standing belief that girls and boys are socialized in many ways, but none greater than the influence of the toys marketed and purchased for them. The short version of a long analysis, popular girl toys promote domesticity and a sense of responsibility while popular boy toys promote imagination and rambunctiousness. Whether these traits are "good" or "bad" is for another discussion, today's topic is this quote.

Upon first read, I reflect on the glitz and glamour that some "women" strive for, attain, and flaunt as a defining difference between their womanhood and masculinity. Then I think about all the women whose glitz and glamour come in a form very different than the pumps and purses that often characterize a woman. We've all seen the attack on advertisements, beauty products, and men for constantly purporting the stereotype of a woman, or lady, or female. My aim is to call attention to ourselves and how we as individuals allow our ideas, or the ideas of others to define what or who we are in our own eyes. I can remember fondly receiving comments from my mom and other moms about what was and wasn't lady like and what would and would not prepare us for romantic objectification in our older ages. Reading this quote, I am reminded of something I always say when presented with the opinion that I don't dress or look my age; I am 22, this is how i dress, therefore, this is how a 22 year old dresses. This simple application of the commutative property ::who says we don't use math!:: reminds me that I owe it to my age group to help expand the stereotypes placed upon us. The same is true of us as women. Women are not made, instead, we are born girls and by virtue of being born girls, become women. This quote highlights the interruption of this transition and emphasizes the socialization of women and the work that is assumed when "making one."

I usually hold firm contempt against the word female being thrown around in reference to women, generally because it is evidence of a science that has historically objectified and typified women in a way that is unflattering and at times useless. I prefer being called a woman, signifying a purposeful creation and a part of the idea of man, instead of an afterthought of him. The term woman carries significance that female cannot begin to describe. Woman describes the discrimination, discretion, disenfranchisement, and growth of a person. All women, everywhere, share an experience of socialization, of molding, in a similar way and it is this shared experience that denotes the birth or rebirth of a woman and not the makings of one. Because of this, I asked myself not to categorize or stereotype any woman and to instead believe that however she decides to embrace her womanhood, no matter how unfamiliar to me, is the way in which it was meant for her to experience it. Neither science nor society alone reflect womanhood, it is the active action of both occurring with and without intention. Women are born, out of women and out of experience

from that, came this. love

I told myself I wasn't going to write anymore posts until I got out of this funk. BUT today, I remembered, that the Word says that God gives life to the dead and calls those things that be not as though they were. So it seems to me, since I'm made in His image, why would I do anything different?

There has been a lot on my mind lately, all seeming to end up in the same place. I had an interview ::more like a meeting, but for the sake of argument and my job-hunting ego, we'll run with it:: yesterday and the woman interviewing me asked me what my end path was, what direction my education had been and is currently headed toward. I paused, and tried my best to muster out the most vague, but not too vague description or similarity to something that could pass for a "good answer." What I gave her,and the answer I had formulated in my head were the same...nothing. I don't think the reason is necessarily that I don't know, I think its more that I didn't want to disappoint her with my answer because I wanted a job. I then was left looking like I hadn't prepared well for the interview/meeting which is never ever a good look. After I realized what I had done, and also that resume read the way my thoughts and heart do, I broke it down for her. I don't want to work in an office and I don't want a run of the mill, yes I have a college education, but I didn't really need it for this position, J-O-B.

I want a career that reflects my opinions, ideas, and heart. I want a position that reflects my anger and contempt for the ignorance that is passed down and through families, neighborhoods, class divisions, and racial categorizations. I want the pleasure of helping people get to where they are trying to go in the most effective and beneficial way possible. I want to take the idea of situated knowledges and strong objectivity further than the classroom and theoretical feminist dialogue. My senior year in high school, I came across a quote, one that continues to take on new meaning to me. It says,"when you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you'll command the attention of the world." This was spoken by George Washington Carver and to me speaks to engineering life and the practice of it. It tells me, I have the ability to do what you do in my own way. It tells me I can take ownership of a thing, whether its been done never before or one million and one, as long as I complete it in a way that is signature of myself and that no two things, people, or actions are the same nor do they present the same end. Although I do not quite yet have a word for where I want to be and what I want to do, I know I can expect great things.

truly love: this

The Holstee Manifesto

For words that are so true, how often to we find the simple things the hardest to do. Yes I recognized the rhyme scheme, but that really isn't the point. It's 8:30. In the morning. and this is the first thing I read...I guess its actually the second, the first was a skype message i got while asleep. The first two lines, for me, are the truest. I won't rewrite them because the picture is pretty large and it's nothing for you to scroll up and see if you don't remember them. Here's where it gets hard. Although I've heard this quite a long while ago, today I read it, and today I know it, which means I'm accountable for it. And so since accountability is in order, lets break it down so that it will forever and consistently be broken...

Who are you? Who do you love?

I've rearranged the "what" in "what you love" to say who

::I say rearranged, not changed because to me, they're the same thing::

So the questions, or maybe the answers, begin to address this accountability I was speaking earlier about. I know this kinda reads like jibberish but Shhh, I'm getting somewhere. Where I am now is about getting somewhere after. Do we agree that that is what school is? It's more about where you'll be after that guides and shapes your decisions as a student. If you don't that's fine, but still read on. I'd like to offer the idea that education is continuous, yes, that class ended, or you graduated, but how does what you learn translate to where you will be, even where you are now. I'd also like to characterize education/knowledge as alive, pregnant, always changing and growing because outside of the womb is where we grow the most.


How do you live the life you've imagined? How do you relate love, life, and education? Make decisions that may not make sense to the multitudes. As Thoreau said, "any man more right than his neighbor constitutes a majority of one." While this quote can get tricky in deciding who is more right, it is vital because it gives strength to that small voice that knows something is wrong, that knows there is a better way. That voice you hear when your professor gives you a lower grade simply because they don't agree with your argument ::or maybe that's just me:: 

A similar quote given to me in high school by a teacher, a fellow Cal alumna, reads similarly,  

"There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious—makes you so sick at heart—that you can't take part. You can't even passively take part. And you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop. And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all." 

  -Mario Savio

For me this quote is revolution, is movement, is life, especially now, as a graduate. My mission is to change the world, to change life for the people I love. But I've realized, I can not and will not achieve that in fear, in laziness, in mediocrity.


P.S. If you knew me, you would know...I know that you "aren't supposed to" end a sentence with a preposition, but that's why I do it!

true.mad.deep: what is love

I needed to get this out, fast. Two nights ago, I watched Love Jones ::one of my top five favorite movies:: because I tend to be a sucker for a love story. In the film, for those who may be somehow unfamiliar, Nina recites a poem as she walks with Darius. The poem is written by Sonia Sanchez ::check her out:: and it's short and simple, and inevitably sweet. I'm loving it so much, I'm sharing it with you...

I gather up

each sound

you left behind

and stretch them

on our bed.

each nite

I breathe you

and become high.

                              -Sonia Sanchez

While this poem made Nina want to burn her book, it has inspired me to reopen mine.

these words = inspiration 

Inspiration to learn, to grow, and to just...feel.


This poem shows me memory, something I'm usually quick to forget. Sounds oxymoronic at first, I know, but I think about all the things and events, and how quick I am to dismiss them. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the blissfully beautiful, memories happen. They happen all the time. This is seemingly contrary to the sayings "memories are made" and "life is what you make it". I don't always make my life, sometimes things just happen, memories don't have to be made, sometimes they just are. What I choose to remember oft defines my decisions and ultimately the character I draw myself to be, but what about those memories, those life occurrances we just can't seem to forget or no matter how painful, just don't want to.

This poem, takes me there.