deep with love: come follow me...

As I sit here acting as if I don't have volumes to read before the official work week begins tomorrow, my mind begins to wander. I think of all the posts I've been afraid to write because, "what if they're not good enough"? What if they don't portray me well, what if people just don't understand? These questions are real, too real, so real that I've half written at least two posts, and even now, half written they remain. I write and I realize...

My blog is all of me, flawed, not perfect, but all I have, I give. Just as it's unfair for me to deprive myself of all that I'm offered, it's unfair for me to deprive the world and all i meet of all of me. Think of the disservice! While I don't think I'm better than the next blogger with neon orange nails, or anyone else for that matter, I do recognize my value and that mine isn't exchangeable for anyone else's...nor is it for sale.

What I mean by my little adage is that, my biggest disservice to myself is feeling trapped to someone because I don't want to face the consequence (which is usually, their feelings being hurt). Now, I must say, I believe "hurt feelings" is a decision, if i allow myself to be hurt by your words, that's my choice. Of course, with that said, I wouldn't expect anyone to continue making remarks without any consideration for others, however, i also don't expect anyone to censure themselves and their feelings for someone else

::bottom line, it's all in how you say what you say::

"Yesterday, I was a little girl. I was worried about what other people thought and I showed it. I cried, often. And let everything hurt my feelings. My mom called it "emotional". Today, I took "emotional" and replaced it with love. 'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres' (1). And today, I became a woman".

I'm 21, developing what I call my "classic style" and now developing my self. Honestly, I can say that the time has come to put away childish things (I say this without fully admitting "grown-ness"). What I say and what I don't is because of love. 

Let's not forget, the choices we make and the things on which we spend our money, reflect our values and inevitably, our self; my self is what I give, again, flawed...but all.